


Remedy

by Virtual_Reality



Series: Steve and Bucky through the years [15]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 01:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3749533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Virtual_Reality/pseuds/Virtual_Reality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>God, I need to sleep.</p><p>Y'all will probably (hopefully) get two updates today so I can get back in the swing of things. Sorry for the wait, I've had to do most of my writing at night.</p><p>Thank you so much for your patience, and kind words of encouragement. I didn't mean to burden any of you with my life, I was just upset and frustrated.</p><p>Titles are the least of my worries.</p><p>You guys are the best!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Remedy

**Author's Note:**

> God, I need to sleep.
> 
> Y'all will probably (hopefully) get two updates today so I can get back in the swing of things. Sorry for the wait, I've had to do most of my writing at night.
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience, and kind words of encouragement. I didn't mean to burden any of you with my life, I was just upset and frustrated.
> 
> Titles are the least of my worries.
> 
> You guys are the best!

It was late November when Bucky started to feel comfortable going places, and Steve was thrilled to have his company, especially around the holidays. At first it was small things: the grocery store, a restaurant, the cinema, and they branched out from there. James stays close to his side, but he's not as withdrawn as Steve expects him to be. He makes no secret about his distaste for so much Christmas decoration being put out so early. "Christmas is at Christmas," he'd said, grimacing at yet another house draped in colored lights "Christmas ain't in November, damn it. What's wrong with these people?"

Steve didn't mention that the stores had been stocked with tinsel and lights since Halloween, and the music started at Thanksgiving. It was all a commercialized mess, Christmas nowadays, and usually, Steve would let it pass by with little notice. Holidays were so lonely. He felt like this was the first year he truly let himself notice things instead of just blocking it all out.

Still, the outings with Bucky were his favorite, watching from the driver's side out of the corner of his eye as Bucky tried in vain to rub the ever present silver glitter from his fingers. James tried not to let the Christmas spirit get to him, but when Steve threatened to have him photographed in Santa's lap, he hadn't been able to suppress his laugh, and with a little shove, and a teasing, "He's not really my type, Stevie." Steve had hauled him away before they drew the attention of the kids. Stealing mall Santa's thunder was definitely not on the agenda.

The best memory from that Christmas, Steve thinks, is walking down the snowy sidewalks with Bucky, especially the time on their way home from some charity thing Stark had invited them to, though Steve had barely even caught a glimpse of his sparkling trail of charisma as he wove expertly through the crowds of people in a way Steve couldn't quite master. Bucky hadn't wanted to go, and Steve had understood, the media is hard to deal with, but to Steve's utter shock, not one reporter had approached them, and ultimately, James had enjoyed it even more than Steve. Even though neither one of them have any remaining fondness for snow, trudging through the streets of Brooklyn brought back so many memories.

Of course Steve wasn't knee deep anymore, and Bucky was the one flinching away from the sting of the cold, but it was still familiar. Walking past that old chapel, that bar that used to be a grocery store, that burger joint that used to be a bakery, Steve remembers the bakery well. He remembers the smell of freshly baked bread wafting from the doors. The constant warmth he could gain from leaning against the wide window. He'd spent many a time leaning against that window, waiting for Bucky, and they'd each get a warm bun with butter and honey for a treat. Steve loved those memories. He loved remembering how Bucky's kisses were always so sticky and sweet after a trip to the bakery. The way he'd pull him into his arms the moment they were home, and kiss him, lick his way into Steve's mouth, suck on his lips, holding him so close Steve was sure he could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

With so many memories in the air, it really shouldn't have surprised Steve when Bucky reached across the distance between them, pressing the backs of his fingers to the back of Steve's hand. Not holding it, just pressing their hands together like he used to. A little gesture to show he was still trying. Still remembering. It was a slow recovery, but his progress was better than Steve could ever hope, and every day was a little easier.

Steve had also learned that just because Bucky had very few memories, he was not as impaired by the times as Steve was. He had no trouble pulling Steve in for a kiss under the mistletoe, dragging him away just as quickly, while Steve was still lightheaded with anxiety, and warm with happiness, the butterflies in his stomach erupting at the touch of Bucky's lips, and Steve wasn't sure if they were from fear, or from love.

When Steve takes James to the pet store for his Christmas present, James laughs. He gives Steve one of those laughs that makes his cheeks turn pink, and brings the old Bucky back to his smile. "You're buying me a puppy for Christmas?" He repeated, probably not for the last time, "That's ridiculously adorable, Steve. Am I not enough trouble by myself?"

Steve shrugs, "It's for companionship. To help with anxiety," Steve had explained, tucking a hand behind James' lower back to lead him inside, "Clint suggested it."

James had indulged Steve, insisting that he didn't need another companion, but willing to walk through all the same. He'd held to his word, at least until his eyes fell on a scrawny little ball of golden fur. Just skin and bones, barely able to haul his own weight, behind the glass panel marked 'Rescues'. He didn't seem very strong, but he worked his way into Bucky's heart faster than James could block him out, and before he could think better of it, the little dog was in his arms, and though James worried for a minute, it made no difference to the puppy whether or not both of James' hands were real, he was just happy to be held, wagging his tail contentedly, eyes slipping shut as James scratched his ear.

That Christmas had been one of Steve's favorites, for many reasons, but mainly because James got his smile back. He wasn't happy all the time, but at least now he seemed to be capable of genuine happiness, and that's all Steve really wants.

Of all the things that could've ruined their season of happiness, he wished it would've been something less strenuous than the public's response. There were both positive, and negative reactions to homosexuality today, so Steve could overlook the rumors and negative talk of that, but the reactions to Steve, who was America's golden boy or whatever, to be seen on the streets, his arm around the shoulder's of the Winter Soldier, it gave the media something interesting to twist, and shape into what they wanted, and Steve's PR agent something to bitch about

Steve was not happy about the media dragging Bucky into this, he was in no state to do interviews, and Steve would back him up if anyone tried to insist upon it. So much had changed while he was under, yet nothing was fixed. It was sickening to know that people were still more concerned with his image than his happiness, his sanity. It was okay before. During the war, Captain America gave people hope. He gave children hope. Now, he was only a celebrity. Someone else to talk about. It was harder to cope with that thought.

Living here in the twenty-first century was hard, and for the first time since he'd woken, he was starting to feel less like a lost soldier, and more like a person. He felt alive.

He should know by now that the things he love only get taken away from him.

"You're not pissed at me, right?" Bucky asked one evening, peeking out of the bathroom, he'd just showered, and water still drips down his torso. It's very distracting.

"Uh," Steve says, intelligently, eyes following the drops of water as they slip over his golden skin, disappearing into the towel wrapped around his hips. "Right."

"Okay," Bucky shrugs, "Good. 'Cause if you're going to chase my ass around Brooklyn, I'd like ample warning so I can put on pants."

Steve shakes his head, dragging his eyes back up to Bucky's smirking face, "I'm fine," he assures him, "Pants aren't necessary."

Bucky disappears into the bathroom again, "You're just so quiet," Bucky's voice echoes from the small room, "I was wondering who I have to thank for that."

"It's nothing." Steve sighs.

Bucky grunts in response, "Well, nothin' sure seems to be bothering you, Stevie."

Steve walks to the door of the en suite, finding Bucky, now in boxers with a mouthful of toothpaste. He props his hip against the doorframe, "Can't help it. Nobody can keep the press quiet. Someone has to take the fall for what they say."

Bucky pauses, spits out the toothpaste, and looks at Steve, "What'd they say?"

"I don't read gossip magazines..." Steve smiles tiredly, "Only the emails that tell me to get my shit together."

Bucky rinses his mouth, and the sink, and moves into Steve's arms. "Do you want to talk about it? That's the normal thing to do, right?"

Steve puts his arms around James, trying to keep his hands from wandering over his still exposed skin. "My PR agent says you aren't good for my image."

"I could have told you that, Steve." James murmurs, resting his head on Steve's shoulder, "So," he starts, "I can be gone by morning," he offers, "I can move out in a week..."

Steve pulls back to look at him, shaking his head fiercely.

"I can disappear in an hour." He continues, even as Steve lowers his eyes to peer into his, "People would forget about us in a couple weeks."

"No," Steve interrupts. "I've already spent too much of my life caring about what other people think. I'm not running away from this."

James let his hands creep down Steve's body to rest lower on his hips in a halfhearted attempt to distract him before things became too stressful and emotional. "Don't run away then," James tries. "You're hardly a fallen angel." Bucky whispers, "It's impossible to please everyone, but people will still love you."

Steve smiles at him, smoothing his hair back gently.

"I have an idea," James whispers, leading Steve back to the bed, "Why don't you tell me something about us. Yeah? That usually cheers you up."

"Like what?"

"I don't care, something from before."

Steve smiled, "Well," he sighs. "When I first met you, I had this real bad stutter. I called you Jane for almost an entire week before I could get all the letters of James out right. Naturally, as soon as I learned to say James, you tried to teach me to say Buchanan. S'why I call you Bucky. You were an ass, laughing at my struggles just like any best friend should, but it was great.

James is smiling at him when he looks at him for a reaction, "You must've been adorable." He settled against Steve's side, yanking on the blankets.

"Well," Steve ignores the heat on the back of his neck, "I was a handful, that's for sure, and your sisters never let me live that down."

"Sisters?"

Steve smiled, and put an arm around James, settling in to tell him about his three younger sisters.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this doesn't seem to be thrown together in the dead of night, but alas, it was. Forgive errors, and I will do my best to return to it for editing purposes once I'm caught up.
> 
> Also, yes, Christmas, I do what I want. I started the timeline in April-ish, and skipped six months, blah blah blah. Plus time living with Steve, blah blah, I can barely keep up with in myself. XD
> 
> Currently, storyline is more important to me than NSFW content. I've been slacking a bit, I know. I'll probably do smut in the next chapter, so your patience will be rewarded!
> 
> I hope.
> 
> Work, then I'll do the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
